it was July in 2017. i was bored so i decided to play more overwatch. it had been some weeks ever since my favortie charecter roadhog was nerfed. This was by the develepers... or so, i thought...
roadhog was my favorite hero. i was a fat kid so his backstory and fat was relatable 2 me, and i think that hooking people is fun. also, his charecter design was easily the most appealing to me. every time i think of playing overwatch or my favorite charecters of all time, roadhog came to mind. i even was goning to buy a roadhog shirt but they did not have in XXXL. after he got nerfed though, my man roadhog did not feel fun anymore. it wasn't that he wasn't good 2 use anymore, or that i sucked. (IM BRONZE BUT I WAS SILVER LAST SEASON) he just didn't feel... alive? i could still play him fine, but something felt wrong with the character himself after this even though it was just an nerf, and i never saw anyone else pick my maein so i was cunfused.
on this day i will never forget, i decided to go into a match against bots to hone my skills with mercy. after I quood, i was loaded into an easy bot match on Nipal, but theyre was something odd. instead of being the normal map, it had somehow loaded the map as the night version. This easily could have been a glitch... i dindt think of it much. my team told me they did not experience this werid glitch. Also, the enemy rodhog bot jumped off the clif once, which i thought was funy, but I assumed it was just a ai glitch too. the match played as normel, after we lost, i decided to play a competive match after practisng. After I got ready and finished my bowl of my favorite snack that you should definitely try, Doritos™, (Available at your closest store! Sponsored by the #1 Overwatch player) i had no idea what i was getting into...
i clicked the competive button to start searching. i was immidietely placed into a match. the map was the Mexixan map, but what was werid was that the players in the match were only my team who were all bronze, against one player named Satan, who was marked as the #1 player of game from their rank. there picture was also just a bright red square. i had thuoght that this was another glitch,, but i picked mercy and walked to the pay load anyways. Very straingely, i saw a guy poop in-game. i thought it was glitched emote and i lafghed. then every1 on my team abandoned the match, 1 by 1, and I had assumed that they got the bug and restarted. however, right before the last 1 left, they said something that... unnurved me, to say the least...
"OH GOD, PLEASE NO!!!!! DONT DO THIS"
[pooper9000] left the game.
the fact that he had time to type that before hes left made me think that i was safe from whatever happened, but still... what the hell just happined? i assumed it was a glitch. big misteake buddy. i pressed tab to see if the enemy team left, and i saw that it was still me v.s.. Satan, still marked as the number one player in the world. i wanted to change heros in case i had 2 1 v 1 1 person, but the game would not let me. now i wasnt annoyied or worried about losing anymore, actually, so i went on, because i new i could report this to jeffs support team if it was a real glitch, and get my hard earned rank back. But as soon as the round set-up ended, i was teleported to a grey platform in a black void, and this is when I knew that the game was no longer just glitching...
i heared a sound in this scary void. it was constant sound, like a truck horn, made quieter, and not hie piched. about fifteen seconds later, after looking around me, i heard a sound clip from the announcer, saying "Run." i did not know of what this meant, but then... i saw a WAVE of pure BLOOD coming from behind me, along with LAUGHING from the announcer! it was out of charecter for the announcer to laugh, and as i tried 2 run away, the waves got 2 me. i thought i would die. My screen changed to pure BLOOD red! my game, and also my entire computer, froze to, but the sounds was still playing, i decided to wait it out and see if someting else happens. i waited for about 18 picoseconds, and then a cutsene loaded and started, which is weird, because this game doesn't normally have them...
it was roadhog. i was happy to see him. he was walking alone on a dirt road in a hyper realistic forset. he looked like was tired, but i couldnt tell if it was just because he was fat and had to walk for a while. it lasted for 2 minutes, until he reached a wooden, creepey house. he then go into it for some reason, so i thought it was his own, but i was very wrong... i couldnt see anything in the house, and a spookey voice started talking. "Hero... You have been summoned here by us..." A light came on in the house, and than i saw that it was none other than SATAN THEMESELF! OMG roadhog did nothing, then, none other than SATAN THEMSELF, intenteineiousley stabbed poor roadhoeg with his fork of evilness, and BLOOD went EVERYWHERE as he let out a scream so, SO LOWED AND HIE PICHED, that my ears stopped working and bleed for an entire 10 seconds! during those 10 seconds of total ears agoney, Satan said something while looking at me, but I could not hear or read his mowth; i assumed he was taunting me, as he had killed roadie, my favorite. my eyes hurt to like they we're burned, so i knew he was reel. The straingest thing about this cutsene is that after i could heared again, i compleetly forgot what Satan looked like, and how their voice sounded, except for that it was like my own...
the cutscene ended. i was now on the realitic road, as mercy again. all of the game information dissipeared, and i couldnt walk or run anywhere except the path wheir roadhog walked. so I went and found the house in only 30 seconds. i prepared to meet Satan again, and went in the house, but he didnt appear. i was able 2 see tihs time, including hyper-realistic blood on the floor and wals, so i looked for something, and found in open door upstairs that leed to darkness. i went inside, and was teleported to the platform before again... But, things were different.
suddinley, i saw roadhog dead in front of me and the massage "SATAN IS HERE, YOU WIL DIE" on the platform, which started me a lot. then, in the most epic encounter in the history of video gameing, Satan themeself, in the form of mercy, appeared on the screen, sorunded by fire. my ackual own voice played, saying "roadhog is dead. IM SATAN, and I HAVE KILLED HIm... And NOW, you're going to die, mortal, and go to HELL!!!!! MUHAHAHAH!!!!!!!" i took out my pistol, which could do an surprising amount of damage, knowing that everything in my entire lief has leaded to this. The coolest song i have EVER heared ever, a anime battle song (but i forgot which one. i definetely do not watch anime by the way, so dont think i do) started playing and the most epic battel began. Satans attacks were very dificult to dodge, such as realy big, but slow waves of blood, fire bombs, evil devel forks, and calling me gay. i got a hit a lot, but against the odds and thanks to mercys complex abileites, i managed to beat Satan after 2 hours, and it wouldve have ben kind of fun, but i had to avoid getting the chicken nuggets my mom made me cuz of it.
i saw Satan fall into the void, and i fainted, cuz i was so happy that i had trihumped. an 1 hour later, i woke up, and the competive game was over! i was now marked as the as the #1 player in overwatch, presoomably cuz i had beat Satan, but the creepiest thing about this all was that i saw on breaking news that five people went missing after playing overwatch, my teammates that match, compleetly gone... And then, i noticed a eery piece of paper on my bed.
"YoU hAvE bEaTeN mE oNcE, bOy, BuT yOu WoN't Do It SoOn... HahAHahAHahHA!!!"
i knew this was from Satan. it was now 9:07 PM this faetful day, and afteri read that i heard a creepey sound outside my hosue, but just truck driving by. i then went to sleep that night, and after woek up again, i now started 2 enjoy my life as the best overwatch player ever... until, 1 week later. i had to fight Satan. AGAIN. i beat him tho. also, all of my teammates came back, and we had a drink 2gether. THE END...